Unfair
by robert3A-SN
Summary: A week after another near Jeff/Annie kiss and Jeff's latest denial, Annie takes Jeff aside to tell him that she no longer wants anything more from him, and is ready for them to stay friends. But then Jeff responds.


Fridays are painful enough to sit through at a normal school. So naturally it had to be even worse at Greendale, since it was the longest day of classes for the study group this semester. None of them could finish their Friday schedule before 4:00, as even Jeff ran out of ways to get around it.

But although they had stayed long enough, they met up at the longue area each Friday after 4 p.m., to vent and feel better by discussing the coming weekend. They were usually ready to go around 4:30, but on this particular Friday, they somehow found more things to complain about – even on a Britta like level.

Annie's main complaint was one she couldn't say out loud. If she could, she'd tell the group to leave – in a polite way if possible – so that she could talk to Jeff alone. She had a lot of important, painful but necessary things she needed to tell Jeff, and she was hoping to do it at 4:30 when everyone else left. And since she would say these things on a Friday, she'd have the whole weekend to recover and cry herself out before she started moving forward on Monday.

But of course, the group just kept talking and delaying Annie's chance to catch Jeff alone. This left her an extra half hour to go over what she wanted to say, will herself to actually do it and try not to break down over what it all meant. By then, Annie was almost ready to ask the group to leave out loud, yet it was then that their good timing returned.

Shirley was the first to finally leave and get back to her family, then Britta and Pierce made up excuses and Troy and Abed followed them. Annie signaled that she'd catch up to them later, ignoring how Troy seemed to be biting his lip and trying to make himself less bug-eyed. As if Annie couldn't tell that he was trying to keep a big secret; yet after this, she probably wouldn't be well enough to get it out of Troy until Sunday afternoon, at best.

But if Annie kept thinking about that, she might miss her chance to get to Jeff. Fortunately, once she forced herself to notice him again, she saw that he was actually coming over to see her. However, Annie couldn't let him get the first word or it might set the tone for the rest of this – and the tone was already going to be hard enough.

"Jeff, can I talk to you for a second? It shouldn't take long," Annie asked although she knew she'd be proven wrong on the last part.

"Of course," Jeff said almost immediately, which wasn't what Annie expected. But she couldn't let things like that throw her off this close to show time. As such, she made herself just nod and lead Jeff over to the nearest empty hallway.

"Annie…." Jeff started off before Annie was fully ready. So she quickly recovered and got out "Jeff!" before she remembered to control her volume. Not the strong start she was hoping for.

"I'm sorry, just bear with me," Annie recovered. "There are a few things I need to say, so let me say them. Then I'll be ready to listen to you….I hope."

Jeff just nodded instead of saying anything to throw her off, which was the first good sign so far. Now it was time to take the big leap. "First of all, this has nothing to do with last Friday….not all of it, anyway. But don't worry, I'm not going to argue about it. We already went through our little pattern."

What Annie was referring to was the latest incident in which she and Jeff almost kissed before Jeff denied it meant anything. It followed a particularly big two-part adventure last Thursday and Friday – one that was frankly too complicated and included too many genres to recap here.

But the important thing in this context was that Jeff and Annie fought through it side by side, they tried to thank each other normally, almost kissed, and then Jeff backed off and rudely stopped Annie from going into it before leaving. Then on Monday, Jeff brought himself to give a little apology, and Annie accepted it before both of them could address it any further – their little pattern.

"But we don't need to go through that pattern anymore. I just wanted to tell you that I'm past it. All of it. I'm not going to bother you with the Annie of it all, or anything that has to do with….our thing, ever again. Because I've accepted that there is no thing now."

The vast majority of this was the truth. But Annie knew she had to let a bit more out so it might be unanimous someday.

"You're right, Jeff. What we almost let happen last week can't happen. It could, but I don't want to convince myself that it could anymore. From now on, I'm ready for us to just get through the rest of our time here as friends. I still want to have your back and help you on insane, demented adventures like last week. But it'll only be as your friend….I won't make you think I want anything more if you won't."

So far, so good. And yet Annie found herself weakening on just one little "Are you really sure?" follow up question from Jeff, and on another one of his inscrutable stares to boot.

"Of course not, but what choice do I have?" Annie shot back and then cursed herself for letting that trip her. She regained her resolve and got back into speech mode, remembering the next few points she had to make. "You don't want us to be anything more, so I'm not going to waste any more time proving you wrong. Because I should know it's a waste by now. If we were going to have anything else, it would have happened by now. I mean, Abed would say we're not supposed to get it right until the 'graduation series finale.' But I can't spend another year like this until then, Jeff!"

Annie was starting to get emotional, yet there were no tears on deck and her anger was fairly well locked up. This was the kind of passionate, measured emotion she could live with, so Annie tried to hurry up while she was still this well balanced for once.

"We don't have much time left here, you know. That's a dream come true for you, I know, so you probably don't care much _how _you leave here. But I want my last few semesters to be filled with great memories with my very best friends. If we spend every few weeks or months having….moments that can never be, it'll ruin both of our ideal endings," Annie conceded.

"For all I know, I'll never see you again after graduation! So I'd rather spend those last moments having fun and making safe friendship memories with you….not torturing myself and you with…." Annie could only wave her hands to symbolize their complicated relationship. However, she trusted that she already said enough in words to make up for it.

"Is that….what you want?" Jeff just had to ask. Damn him again for throwing her off with just one stupid question that could mean anything, but probably meant nothing. It appeared she'd have to use the big guns after all.

"There are a lot of things I've wanted over the years, Jeff. I've usually failed to get most of them. I usually fail in the most painful, horrible ways possible. And then after that, I hate myself for not seeing it sooner and saving myself even more pain," Annie willed herself to keep going. "This….this is just another example of that."

"Annie…" Jeff started again, but now that Annie was getting on a roll and letting her most painful thoughts bubble up, she didn't want to contain them anymore. She had to get them all out now so maybe they'd never have to come back again, if it was still possible. So once again, Annie cut off her….friend by calling out "Jeff!" a bit louder than before.

"Jeff….I need to get this out, okay?" Annie said when she was just composed enough. "I'm not trying to guilt you into changing your mind, or make you feel something you really don't. I just need you to understand where I'm coming from….then maybe you can help me not feel like this again. Okay?"

Thankfully, Jeff was only able to nod instead of saying something back. With no more wiggle room left now, Annie made herself try to sum up over two years of frustration, disappointment, anger and self-loathing in one last series of monologues.

"Do you know what it's like for me to deal with this, Jeff? Do you know what it's like _every time_ I start believing in you, or that you might feel something for me that's close to what I feel about you? And do you know what it makes me feel like when I realize I was seeing things? Or that you'd rather make me think I'm seeing things than do _anything _else?"

Annie knew she wasn't going to get an answer, and she told Jeff as much. "I know you don't, or else it wouldn't have gotten this far. So I guess I'll tell you…its unfair, Jeff. It's unfair that it makes me feel like a child again….and that it even makes me feel like Little Annie Adderall again. It's even worse here because I wasn't addicted to Adderall as long as I've been addicted to us! Or at least my fantasy version of us! At least I finally knew better when I hit rock bottom on Adderall, but every time I hit rock bottom on us, I just keep deluding myself! And the longer I've done that, the more I feel like the stupid, naïve, deluded loser I was in high school….but that's not what I'm supposed to be anymore."

Annie knew she was threatening to get melodramatic, yet maybe that was needed to get the more meaningful points across. "I'm not a loser anymore, I know that. I saved myself from Annie Adderall and I survived on my own, found people that actually care about me, and I might have saved my future after all. I did all that when none of it seemed possible at all! But it shouldn't be as impossible to stop falling for someone who doesn't love me back, or who doesn't _want _to love me back, or who really is too much of a liar and a cynic and a thoughtless jerk sometimes! How can I have done all that other stuff and _still_ not have learned my lesson on you yet? It makes no sense and I'm tired of denying that it doesn't!"

Now Annie was feeling the tears coming up on deck, but she really wanted to hold them back a little while longer. However, it was getting a little harder to keep looking at Jeff, so her eyes started to wander every so often in her next speech.

"I'm just tired, Jeff. I was tired when I was on pills, and I got tired of wasting romantic feelings on Troy, and now I'm tired of doing the same thing with you. I mean, you've said we can't work out for real, and it's getting harder to imagine that you're wrong. The age thing doesn't bother me, but if it still bothers you so much, there's not much I can do now. I can handle the group's jokes and objections, but if you can't, I have to accept that nothing can change that. And let's face it, expecting a confirmed bachelor and womanizer to be in a long-term relationship with me…..or even have a wedding and family with me someday….it just makes me look like a clingy schoolgirl, and not in the hot way!"

That got away from her, as Annie was just looking for some little joke or call back to lighten the mood. But paraphrasing Jeff's line from Model UN probably didn't do much; and when her tears got closer to escaping, she knew it didn't. She had to wrap this up soon, and it was becoming clear that she couldn't keep looking at Jeff while she did it – at least not before the end. So she turned around and found that it helped her steel herself for the next series of confessions.

"I don't want to feel like a stupid child anymore because of this. I feel so much stronger and confident and braver in almost every other way….but this pretty much negates the rest anyway. I can't live like that if I really want to be better than I used to be. Even if you suddenly confessed and said everything I always wanted….it wouldn't be enough. Logically, it couldn't be. Not after all these years of you pushing me away and making me look foolish. Or getting me too messed up to just enjoy being around the best friend I've ever had…."

By this point, not looking at Jeff wasn't enough to hold back Annie's tears anymore. However, looking at him now would only make it worse, so Annie kept her back turned and hoped she wouldn't feel a hand on it any time soon.

"If I just let you win me over with one look or touch or some magical Winger speech, what does that say about me? If I just let it all slide just like that, like I've done over and over already, it'll just ruin what self-esteem I have left! You should have to do much more to earn me than that, Jeff! And if you're not capable of it, then I can't keep fooling myself. And I can't nag you into doing something you're unable to do, either! It's unfair to you and to me….probably more to me, though!"

Annie's desire to act like an adult and take the high road had probably been negated by her increased crying. As such, she stopped talking until she wiped her eyes and breathed regularly again, thankful that she didn't hear Jeff coming closer. Since she was calming down and he seemed to be stuck in place, Annie felt like she might only need one or two more paragraphs to finish this.

"I don't want to feel this way around you anymore, Jeff, and I know you don't want it. So like I said, I won't tempt you, bring up any Annie of anything, or put any romantic overtones, intentional or not, in our talks anymore. If I can do that, you should be able to stop looking at me and talking to me in a way that leads me on, and then we'll both be fine. Then you won't have to face things you don't want to face, and I can feel like an adult and a friend around you again. It may not be everything I wanted, but I would have rather have that than keep feeling….the awful way I just described before. If you can respect that and help make it easier on me, I would really love that…..please..."

Annie knew she undercut herself again by saying the word love, no matter what context she used it in. Asking please probably didn't help either, since she shouldn't have to ask Jeff to do a fundamentally decent thing. After about 10 separate monologues of telling him how much loving him hurt her, it shouldn't take a please to make him help her out of this. But it shouldn't have taken a lot of things to get this far.

Most of these things probably should have been said last year – some of which definitely should have been said right after the first week of last year. More of it should have been said before that little talk in the restroom months later, and the rest really should have been aired out well before Annie of it All day.

As such, waiting until yet another near kiss/painful Jeff denial to get this out looked even more foolish. Like she said, it was unfair to her and she would like to think that Jeff knew it was as well – although assuming what he thought or felt had rarely paid off before.

Annie was just tired of feeling foolish and childish and delusional in so many ways – especially after she had stopped being that way in so many other things. The Annie that had overcome rehab, being disowned, having no friends and Greendale itself could no longer co-exist with the lovesick, far too naïve Annie that Jeff brought out. And she liked the strong Annie so much better than the one that let Jeff keep toying with her, intentionally or not – especially after last weekend.

It took her a whole week to come to terms with that and figure out how to express it to Jeff. Now she had done that and was ready to merely treat Jeff like a friend forever, or for however long she had left to be near him. And she wasn't just saying that to convince herself that she could do it and block out the pain of countless "what ifs." Not entirely, and maybe not even half-entirely either.

But she couldn't really believe that if she couldn't even look at Jeff now. She still had to turn around, get his official agreement to her demands, and then have one last weekend crying her final Jeff cries before moving on. From now on, Jeff would truly be like any other best friend, without any daydreams or hopes for anything more attached. Starting right after she turned around to see him.

Yet when Annie then saw the most pained, emotional look she had ever seen on Jeff's face – or maybe on that of any other human being – she realized this wasn't an ideal start.

"Jeff, please don't look at me like that anymore," Annie got out before she could think about why he looked this way. "If you can't stop it, at least do it when I'm not looking. I really want to stop seeing something that isn't there on those looks now…."

"You got it…..you've got all of it, Annie," Jeff said in a new kind of emotional tone that Annie fought tooth and nail not to analyze. "I'd just like to show you something first."

"What? Jeff, what _exactly _do you want to show me?" Annie inquired, not feeling in the mood for mere hints or anything other than direct, honest answers. If Jeff couldn't even give her that after all the things she confessed, she barely felt like seeing something at all.

"I'll explain it thoroughly when you see it. After that, if you still want to, you don't have to look at me, think at me or even see me ever again. I'd just like you to do this one last favor for me…please," Jeff asked back. The please was certainly a nicer touch coming from him, although it still left way too much room for Annie's resolve to weaken. But then again, if she was already shying away from a challenge to her new vow, it wasn't really that strong to begin with.

"All right…._one _more favor, then," Annie conceded. "Lead the way, Jeff," to which Jeff did without a second thought or word.

Annie stayed at a safe distance from Jeff, not trying to read anything into what his face looked like, and whether he was breathing tighter than usual. She just made herself wonder where Jeff was leading her, instead of trying to think about what he would show her and whether it should make any difference at all.

By the time she saw that Jeff was leading her towards the study room, she felt more at ease for whatever happened next. She knew that cryptic words and gestures weren't enough to change anything, and that any deeper romantic theories were unrealistic. As such, Annie kept an open mind as Jeff opened the study room door, feeling like she was ready for anything.

Anything except lit candles on the study room table, a full blown dinner placed in front of both Jeff and Annie's seats on the table, and what looked like dessert on the other end.

"Sorry if it's a little cold by now," Jeff said after Annie stood in shock for a full minute. "I meant for us to get here about 15 minutes earlier. I was going to bring you right here after the group left, before you…..started monologing and all. I'm just glad those restaurant guys cooked our dinner and got it here by 5 like I asked. And we can always reheat the cold parts….we'll probably have to reheat Shirley's dessert anyway."

So…..while Annie was training herself to let Jeff go and renounce her romantic feelings for him forever….he had spent the day preparing a romantic dinner for her at the study room. After she had just vowed loudly and tearfully that she wouldn't over think his confusing gestures again…..he just made the most confusing one of all time.

"This is…..really unfair.…" was all Annie could say.

It wasn't what she might have said in her right mind, especially if she was aware that Jeff could take it the wrong way. But considering what she finally made herself do and how it was about to fall apart anyway…..that was probably the best thing to say. Well, that and the sudden question, "Wait, _Shirley's _dessert?"

"Yeah…..okay, so you know how you just spent a whole week trying to change yourself?" Jeff asked in an almost mockingly rhetorical fashion, which probably wasn't the ideal tone. "While you did that, I spent about the whole weekend beating myself up for last Friday. Then after we did our usual 'brush everything aside thing' on Monday, I spent about the next two days telling the study group everything. I mean, it wasn't like keeping it to myself was helping anymore."

While Jeff's mouth kept moving, Annie could no longer move her jaw muscles as more shocking twists were revealed. "That brings us to Wednesday…..which we spent brainstorming over ideas before I settled on my whole 'dinner in the study room' plan. Thursday was about finding a restaurant to make and deliver food, hiring people to set up the study room this afternoon, and planning out what dessert Shirley would bake. But today, we just had to make sure the food got sent on time, and keep you around with study group gossip before dinner was ready. Funny how the biggest day of all was the least complicated….for the most part."

As much as this complicated…..well, everything, Annie could still see how it explained a few things. It explained why the group stayed a half-hour later than usual this Friday, and why some of Britta's rants and the groans over it sounded more rehearsed than usual. It explained why Troy had his 'barely keeping a secret look' on all day, and why Jeff was making his way towards Annie before she started talking. If she had given Jeff just a few more seconds, he might have taken her to dinner much earlier and answered every one of her doubts…..

But then Annie snapped back into place and remembered the doubts she still had – and that it had to take much more to answer them now. Before she got to her usual Jeff doubts, she decided to warm up by addressing new ones, such as, "Are you telling me the _group _helped….set us up on a date?"

"Well, like I said, it was _my _idea we used at the end. But if I hadn't asked them for help, instead of exploding inside like usual, I wouldn't have had a clear head to dream this up. So you can give them a co-credit footnote if you want," Jeff offered.

That answered one question, yet it made another one even more maddening. "And you _told _them about….us?" Annie whispered at the end, struggling not to feel humiliated that she was thinking about an "us" after all she said. But all she said was….before this.

"I told them everything about…..us," Jeff answered with a little less of a whisper at the end. "That's why it took two days to talk to them behind your back and answer their….doubts. It was every bit as awkward and uncomfortable as I imagined it'd be for the last year. But I got myself through it, won them over and got the warm-up win I needed before I could talk to you."

Annie wanted to ask what Jeff intended to talk to her about. But the words couldn't come out, as she still wrestled even now with whether she wanted to ask them. So many revelations in the last few minutes had exceeded her greatest romantic hopes, moments after she tried to kill them for good. And yet after what had happened earlier, and all that she had promised herself to do over the last week…..she still couldn't enjoy it.

She still wasn't ready to get swept away, for fear that she was reading too much into this even now. The memories of how Jeff disappointed her made her afraid that this was his most elaborate disappointment yet. Although all signs were pointing towards the words she had wanted to hear from Jeff for a long time…..too much had happened for her to revel in it, or trust it, now. And that made her more upset than almost anything else today.

These truths almost made Annie start crying again, but she still had enough self-control to remember to stop – at least before it got too far. She was supposed to be the stronger, wiser Annie who wouldn't let Jeff make her cry again – for any reason. But she started to wonder if strong and wise Annie should endure herself to hear Jeff out, no matter what he said. And if he really was trying to make amends, regular old Annie could do nothing else than let a friend – or whatever Jeff was – try to feel better.

Therefore, Annie got to what she wanted to ask in the first place, which was, "What do you want to talk about, Jeff?" Yet when Jeff looked unsure or confused over what to say, just like usual, Annie's anger at him and at herself was ready to spark again.

And then Jeff spoke.

"I worked on a whole big Winger speech the last few days….at the same time you planned your Annie speech, I guess. I'm also guessing that the Annie speech set too high a bar for my Winger speech to match it. It's just as well, anyway….it wasn't the right thing to say after all your words, anyway. Even this dinner isn't enough, as it turned out….." Jeff trailed off.

"Jeff?" was all Annie could ask as she willed him to keep going – and she didn't care why she was at this point.

"I….if I heard what you said a few days ago, I probably wouldn't be here. I'd be too convinced that I had to get away from you so I couldn't hurt you again. I'd have run away so I'd never have to face what that made me feel ever again. But….but I'm still here now, Annie. I saw that I hurt you more than I ever feared I would if we were….an us….but I'm still not running away. And now that I'm out of excuses, I'd rather stop hurting you by…..actually not hurting you anymore instead of ignoring everything. I knew that even before I set this dinner up, and now…." Jeff trailed off again.

"Jeff?" Annie repeated even more emotionally than before. But this time Jeff didn't go into another speech, as he went back to his old confused, repressed face. Yet it then turned into a new kind of angry face. "Come on already, Winger!" Jeff yelled with this new angry face. "She said all that and you already got this far, and you _still _can't say you love her?"

It took Jeff a few seconds before he realized how loud that question was.

"Did you just say…." Annie started to ask in a smaller voice than she really wanted.

Given how Jeff wasn't saying anything else now, Annie's doubts returned to say that he would just back off and say he misspoke. Yet Jeff then extended their losing streak.

"There's a lot more I want to say, and I still can't say it all out loud. Let's just say that everything you dreamed I would say to you…..it's all true. But it's not enough….not now. Not because I don't want to feel it or I don't want...this. Because you're right….I have done _nothing _to earn you," Jeff admitted. "There aren't enough words or dinners or Winger speeches to make up for what you said I did to you. So in lue of that…..I guess I have to grovel. Just don't use that term for it in public, okay?"

Annie couldn't get in a word edgewise – if she was capable of forming words - as Jeff was on a roll now. "Annie, I've known from the start that I don't deserve you. Now that you've figured it out and told me in….ways that'll haunt me for the rest of my life, I know I can't change that. I mean, I made the strongest, smartest, sweetest, sexiest woman I've ever met feel like a child over and over. You can't come back from that….but I will do every single, solitary thing you ask me to do until I come close. Maybe I'll keep doing it after that, just to be sure," Jeff semi-quipped.

"But even if it kills me to actually….tell the truth and be sincere and romantic and give you everything you earned a long time ago….then I guess I'm going to have to die, then. I tried being selfless and tried to spare you from me, but it's clearer than ever that being selfless isn't my strong suit. So it's back to being selfish and wanting you in every single way….but then again-"

Whatever Jeff's next point was, it was forgotten the second that Annie pressed her lips right up against his. It was then flung into a bottomless pit when Annie pressed her body against his and Jeff embraced it back.

But for Annie's part, she found herself thinking again seven seconds into the make out session. Thoughts like how she was doing just what she said she wouldn't do – let pretty words and gestures make up for every rotten feeling Jeff made her feel.

Yet considering how he just apologized for every single rotten feeling, there had to be extenuating circumstances. Besides, only a real b-person would still hold that against him after those words and confessions and dinner and _ungodly tounge…._

And yet again, he did only say he loved her when he thought she couldn't hear him. And he did semi-joke that actually being sincere and romantic and honest would kill him. And for all he did to apologize for this screw-up, he _did _only do this much at the last possible moment before he lost his chance.

Although Jeff wanted to try now, he still had a long way to go to be a good full-time boyfriend. And if he let that slide now just because his glorious mouth and tongue were as glorious as she remembered, it wouldn't set a good tone for the relationship – if there should be one right now. The old Annie wouldn't have thought that far, but the Annie that could be stronger with Jeff _and _think about giving him another chance could try.

It would be easier if she could get her lips out of his mouth, though. Yet before Annie started to get them out, Jeff pulled his mouth away first. To his credit, he immediately started talking before Annie got the wrong idea again. "That was _not _because I didn't want it, I swear! You don't want to know how badly I wanted it…." Jeff stated even though Annie could think of a few ways she might know. But blushing about that kind of…._proof_ was uncalled for right now.

"What I mean is, this is what we were talking about. Don't get me wrong, I want to keep brushing past our issues too, especially now that…._that's _on the table," Jeff admitted. "But I barely said that I loved you, we didn't figure out how I'm _really _going to make everything up to you, and I could relapse out of this feelings high at any time! And we were still going to make out and maybe do….other stuff, as if I _really _made _everything _better. As if I'd really earned _that _much yet….asking you to settle for less again is beneath you, Annie."

For a moment, Annie did almost forget all that, considering how they were on the same emotional _and _physical page this time. As much as that just made her want to keep going, she knew they weren't ready yet. Jeff seemed like he wanted to finally get this right – and until they both fully convinced themselves that he could, that had to take priority.

But now Annie felt like she really could help him do that. Now that she _knew _he wanted it, things had become so much simpler. They weren't entirely uncomplicated, but they were at a complicated level that she could live with. One that she could solve – and that she could help Jeff solve together.

So to answer the end of Jeff's original point, Annie answered, "I know," as more and more clarity began to wash over her. "You're right, there's still a lot for us to work out. You did hurt me whether you wanted to or not, and I didn't always make it easier for you. I understand this is all new for you….and now that I know for sure you want to try this anyway, I can help you."

"Well, you are the feelings expert in this couple, so I yield to your expertise," Jeff jested, now that they were getting comfortable enough to jest again. "I said I would do anything to make it up to you. So what is milady's first command?"

"First of all….I am _really, really _hungry. I don't care how cold our dinner is now, all these speeches took too much out of me to care," Annie confessed. "You went to a lot of trouble to have dinner with me, and I'd like to get around to it pretty soon."

"Done and done," Jeff immediately gave in as he sat at his usual seat. "Next on your agenda?"

"Jeff, this won't work if we call it an agenda. You don't have to make it look like you're doing this because you're in debt to me. I know you're not, so let's not treat it that way," Annie insisted as she went to her seat. "I only want us to have a nice dinner, and a nice talk to go with it. We've both monologued for a whole half hour, but we haven't really _talked _to each other. I think we've put that off long enough, even before now."

"I know," Jeff admitted. "I just….it's still so new to me. Yeah, I can say you're great and that I never want to hurt you again, or even let an I love you slip. But saying exactly how deeply I….feel about you….admitting and doing the…. things I want to do with you that _aren't _sexual….I still don't know how to do that. The group tried their best to help this week, but they can only do so much."

"Then I'll help with the rest," Annie offered. "Whatever you need, I'm right here. That's kind of a perk for not keeping me at arm's length anymore. Maybe I can't let you off the entire hook yet, and maybe I'm a bit more cautious with you now. But I always want to be there for you and help you through your problems….that never changed and it never will. So just keep that in mind for future reference, okay?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" Jeff joked as the mood finally started to lighten up. "Thank you, Annie….I know I'm still on thin ice here. But no more chickening out and no more premature making out until I'm off it, rejected scout's honor."

"Jeff, I didn't say _no_ _more _making out," Annie corrected gently and with a bit of a blush. "Let's just say….making out is an extra incentive to get through the rest of our issues. If guilt and our feelings aren't enough, that should put us over the top."

"Notice how I didn't make a sex pun for the word top, there's progress right now," Jeff shot back with the old Jeff smirk, triggering the old Annie laugh and giggle. "But….seriously, Annie-" Jeff resumed with his newer sincerity before Annie stopped him.

"Jeff, you've apologized a lot lately, and I've gotten emotional a lot too. We'll have plenty of time to keep doing that later. But if I keep smelling this food without eating it, I am going to turn cannibal at this rate," Annie exaggerated.

"Come on, if you want me to keep a clean mind, you've _gotta_ meet me halfway here," Jeff responded, which made Annie grossed out on how he could think cannibalism was a sexy come on. Then when she remembered Jeff was the only one she could go cannibal on, and how she could devour him in other ways now if she wanted, she got grossed out in a better way.

But their heads cleared up for the first time today – maybe the first time in a week or much much longer – when they finally started eating. With food now in their bellies and enough time gone by from their emotional breakthroughs, they could actually start talking. And for once, they really did have an honest to God talk.

They started with Annie asking about how Jeff told the study group about them and how they reacted – an epic tale that took up the entire dinner. When they reheated dessert, Jeff went into how they planned out the dinner, how even Abed admitted they found new twists in an old cliché, and how Jeff planned out his abandoned Winger speech. The topic got more serious when Annie shared her less wacky experiences of the week, and how she believed she had to let Jeff go for her own good.

Jeff then tried again to express his sorrow and how he never wanted Annie to doubt him again. Yet expressing his deeper feelings was still hard for him to pull off – but now Annie didn't mind. His difficulty in saying what he deeply felt was more charming and even cute, now that he'd admitted he felt _something_. And since they were on the same page, Annie could be more patient with him, not press him as severely and reassure him that he wouldn't hurt her – at least not in any way that couldn't be fixed.

This was the Annie that she loved to be – the adult one who worked with Jeff instead of being flustered and frustrated with him. She had her faith in Jeff back and could let herself dream of romance and a real relationship again. Yet she didn't have to give up her maturity or self-esteem in the process after all. Likewise, while Jeff was willing himself to be more open, he clearly hadn't given up his wit, charm, humor and Annie worship in his process either.

Although they might not have been ready or earned the right to go "all in" yet, the fact that they were on their way and had vented some of their old demons was more than good enough – a compromise that both of them could live with.

But that didn't keep them from having one little make out session to reward themselves for their progress – one where Jeff stopped himself from making a full on slide on second base, and Annie somehow let him stop himself. That earned a few more deep kisses before they left and started planning their first date outside of campus.

After all this, it was only fair.


End file.
